X-ray guy: "WHOSE IS THE BLUE SUITCASE?"
Me: "It's mine sir"
The guy: "There's an electronic device I don't recognize"
Me: "It's a motherboard"
The guy: "No idea what that is"
Me: "It's an electronic device"
The guy: "Take it out"
Me: *takes it out and shows it*
The guy: *says nothing*
Me: *says nothing*
The guy: *continues saying nothing*
Me: ...*clenching* can I go?
The guy: *keeps looking at me without saying anything*
Me: ...*slightly less clenched* I mean, I can go, right sir?
The guy: .............................yes.
I'm back!! After 1 year living in Spain, I returned to my homeland where I lived, the beloved Rio de Janeiro. Reunited with family, some friends, and satisfied a longing I had been holding for a while: talking to someone in your native language. It was nice!!
Naturally, everyone who sees me asks the same thing: "how's this return going?", and the answer I give is: "easier than I thought!". Unfortunately, it's the truth -- at first I looked at everything and thought: wow, remember how in Spain it was different?, but after two days the impulse was gone and old habits kicked in again; in retrospect, of course living 25 years in the same country has a certain effect on a person that's impossible to remove, even with Vanish. My routine went back to being almost exactly what it was before I left, and sometimes I have the feeling that this 1 year in Spain was a big dream...
But it's an illusion -- things won't continue in this bizarre stagnation, not for long. Soon I'll move out of my parents' house to live with silvia, and thus we'll restore a bit of what made that 1 year so special. In the meantime, I've been taking advantage to be as productive as possible, which even scared me: in September I developed a rhythm of *gestures* doing things *gestures* that pleases me immensely and continues to this day, and that must end simply for physical reasons: I'm remembering (painfully) that no human body was made to be in front of the computer 14h every day. When they talked about "work while they work" and "make personal pages dedicating yourself to the internet while they sleep", nobody mentioned back pain!!
But it's not just physical reasons, actually -- I've also been questioning myself a lot about where I want to go with my Work(TM). What do I want "vinizinho.dev" to be? A tribute to personal sites? A temple of digital preservation? A collection of fun little projects that make you lose 1 hour of your Wednesday night? Actually, who do I want "vinizinho" to be? What's my ambition? What do I need to have done before I die? What do I want to do before I die? Are these questions the same?
At the same time that these are all relevant questions, I also think they're a sign that I need to stop looking at all this so closely. So I'm going to take advantage of this return, and these months of interstitium, to focus a little more on other things -- mainly my health (Spain made me a sedentary creature) and my friendships (Spain made me a needy creature). And with a little luck and divine help, everything will work out.